By Oluwakemi Yemi-Ajayi
We’ve all heard arguments from both sides of the spectrum regarding if women and men can just be friends.
It’s an age-old debate.
The truth of the matter is, being just friends is possible. Staying within the friend zone can possibly be more beneficial than pursuing a relationship.
As a man, having a woman as just a friend is perfectly fine. Just because you have been friends with a woman for over an extended period of time doesn’t mean there is reason to pursue a relationship.
In today’s moderns times it is perfectly possible to stay within the friend zone with a woman and nurture a different type of relationship: a friendship.
For a man, having a woman as just a friend is not an attack on his masculinity or his ability to land a date. A friend should not just be defined by gender.
Sometimes you grow up with female friends for an extended period of time and they simply just become friends.
That’s how your relationship evolves. There’s an understanding between the both of you that it won’t go anywhere, and both of you are fine with that.
For instance, there are times as a man when you just want to go out. Sure you can call your “bros” for a night out in the town, but that will probably entail some drinking and flirtation.
You may not be up for that. Calling your female friend for a simple night out is your best option.
Both of you are able to have dinner and see a movie without there being any pressure from both ends.
When it comes to paying for dinner, you both know you’re having dinner as friends and it’s perfectly natural to split the bill.
As for the movies, there will be no pressure regarding if you have to impress your friend, if sharing your popcorn will be preconceived as a “move,” or if you choosing an action flick over a romantic comedy will create a bad impression.
No, that is not the case; you both genuinely enjoy each other’s company and are simply looking to have a fun time with your friend.
The same can be applied to your female friend.
From her perspective, one can argue that she might want a break from her dating life routine and knows when she goes out with you she’s not out to impress anyone.
And if she wants to wear sweats? She can. If she wants to order a chocolate cake after her main course, she will.
Why? Because she knows she is out with a friend. Plain and simple.
Sure, your male friends can give you advice regarding your dating life, but honestly, at times their viewpoint may not necessarily be the correct one or the one you want to hear. Let’s face it: You’re getting a male’s viewpoint.
So what do you do? You turn to your female friend.
As your friend, she knows you inside and out from being friends for an extended period of time. In addition, as a female, she knows what women want and won’t be afraid to tell you.
As her friend, she wants you to find your other half, and she’ll be there along the way to give you that much needed female advice.
It also works both ways. As a man, your female friend may even turn to you for your advice.
You may be even be her wingman and keep an eye out for any man who may have bad intentions with her.
It can be a tad protective, but you don’t do this because there’s an attraction, you do this because you’re friends.
Friends have each other’s backs.
Now, I am sure it is only natural once either you or your female friend becomes involved in a relationship some jealousy may come into fruition.
Will it be from you or your female friend?
No, but it may come from your respected significant others. Now, will your significant other be fine with you having a female friend?
Well, that depends. Eyebrows may be raised because you are so close with a female and it’s strictly platonic.
While that is natural, it should be made clear that a friendship can develop between a man and a woman and stay that way.
Would you suddenly stop being friends with your female friend after an extended period of time due to your significant other’s jealousy? You wouldn’t.
Your significant other should understand who your friends are, that you have built genuine friendships for over an extended period of time and have more than likely have become life-long friends.
Bottom line, if you’re in the friend zone with a woman, that’s perfectly fine.
As Millennials, it’s not something that is too rare for our generation.
The friend zone is not a bad place to be in because your female friend will easily have your back just as much as your male friends.
So if you’re a man and find yourself in the friend zone with a woman, don’t overthink it.
You have developed a rock-solid friendship that will be there for years to come.